You'll be someone's favourite, and someone else is going to hate you, aren't they? I know that I can't please everyone, but what I can do is be myself and be true to my values. - Alex Scott
I got involved with coaching right as hockey in Chicago was blowing up thanks to the Blackhawks. Because of that, young and new players, many from non-traditional hockey families wanted to get involved with the game. This was great as the kids had star players like Patrick Kane, Johnathon Toews, and Marian Hossa to look up to.
It also made the sport unnecessarily stressful for players, parents, and even coaches and administrators at times because there was a lot of misinformation or opinions that really didn’t mesh with what many of us were or even till today, are still doing. Many people thought and think that college scholarships for hockey are just handed out to anyone; that after playing AA hockey to 18U some NCAA team is going to sign their kid. If “Billy” isn’t on the best team in town or gets cut to a lower-tiered team, he’s being screwed over by the coach who suddenly “knows nothing”.
I am going to be completely 100% open and honest here. I will point blank admit I have parents that don’t like me, others who think I don’t know what I’m doing, and some that just don’t agree with how I coach. Reason’s can vary from:
“The team doesn’t have any plays” - This isn’t football, but we do have our forecheck (1-2-2 aggressive, 1-2-2 passive, and a PK forecheck), a powerplay breakout, and our standard breakout that is adjusted based on the oppositions forecheck (I like to get the puck to the middle of the ice, so the center pass is always an option). Things are scaled back via the younger you go. That said, are they expecting the “Annexation of Puerto Rico” (only the Little Giants fans will get that reference)?
“The coach doesn’t put the team first/he plays everybody” - Uh… my job as the “Head Coach” is to develop and teach ALL the players as well as the team, especially in Squirts and Peewees, but even still till their ready for men’s league. If I take 15 skaters, I’m going to play all 15 skaters unless I absolutely need to shorten my bench, which I will do.
“The coach doesn’t play to win” - This one usually is tied to the comment above, which again, I find hilarious. I hate losing more than I like winning, but I also am not going to completely sacrifice development at the younger ages (again I said I will shorten the bench when necessary) for that quick win. If I take a player on a team I coach, I am doing so knowing that I’m going to do my best to develop them throughout the season and in games.
The above comments made by some parents have dogged me throughout my 10 years as a coach. They’ve been used to hold me back from taking higher-level teams when I was still early in my career, and actually ended up getting me removed from a top team (sadly in this situation the 1% “concerns” were treated like their 99%). This is despite-and I hate using this because it will come off as pompous no matter how I write it- the 8 teams I coached, 4 made playoffs, another was moved up an entire division which rarely ever happens, 1 of those teams lost the semi-finals in league playoffs (OT no less), and 1 team lost in the league championship game! But "He doesn’t coach to win”.
The number that really matters to me the most though is the number 0.
I have never had a single player not come back or ended up quit playing hockey the following season because of me or the fact they didn’t have a good time. I have had 3 go and take part in other sports (two were house players my first season so this was just something to do for them, the other was a very good wakeboarder/snowboarder, and wanted to focus on that more).
ZERO.
I’m still learning and yes at times struggle with not pleasing everybody. I’ve been called things to my face or over email that I won’t dare say here (listen to a George Carlin album if you want to get an idea) because someone felt they didn’t get their way or disagreed with me. But make no mistake, I will absolutely continue to be myself and true to my values of developing players and teams. I’m never going to make everyone happy as a coach, so I’m going to continue to do the best for the players that I can, and my mindset will be, “Trevor, just do you”.